Monday, December 31, 2012

2012 in a nut shell + 2013 resolution

Yo !

 I know I haven’t been updating lately, but I have been busy. But maybe a2012 nutshell will update everything you have missed J
1)      Fun times with CNP outing at MBS, Vl’s Birthday Chalet etc !  Honestly I can’t remember all !
2)      Crazy Lady Gaga Monster Ball concert with Taima ! ( expensive )  
3)      Bought Film SLR which I love dearly
4)      Photo trips with YH, End up losing my Polarizer lens because it was loose and it dropped in the swan lake at botanical garden.
5)      Best read of the year: The Secret
6)      Met a great guy who is humorous, listen to my troubles and cares for me.
7)      Became official with him at 18.08.12 after he jumped over the bush ( gosh long story but I never regret my decision )
8)      Best Birthday celebration, got engaged in the flyer with an unexpected proposal.
9)      Hong Kong Trip during December with my dearie ( got lost several times but in the end we understand each other better)
10)    Booked our Wedding Venue and Date at 1st March 2014 aka 1314
11)   My sister’s Wedding date is finally firmed
12)   My brother is finally 21 !  Now Serving NS
13)    Dearie and I got our HDB Ballot Number ! 
Actually it isn’t much to sum up with but there were ups and down tears and joy, life and death but the things I learnt are all precious. I am thankful for what has happened and blessed to have what I have now. I will not take the gift I have received for granted.
Resolution 2013 :
2013 means that my sister is getting married, I am gonna missed her but nevertheless happy for her that she is setting up her own family with her long-time boyfriend. I have my own preparation to prepare as well lol !  So here is my resolution:
1)      Lose 3 kg for photo-shoot and sis wedding ( ideal weight 55 KG )
2)      Learn commitment, compromising  and understanding,
3)      Get a salary raise
4)      Officially confirm our flat
5)      My face to recover to its original state.
6)      Save More Money for our Wedding
7)      Catch up with lost friends
8)      Learning ropes of life
9)      Maintain relationship with friends family and love ones  
10)   More Cycling and Swimming
11)   Enjoy life to the fullest
12)   Maintain my photography trips
13)   Get My License FOR SURE ! 
During 2012 or years of my single-hood, I found myself to be a little self-centred, Nevertheless there is always this sweet and stubborn guy who is always patiently reminding me that now it’s two and not one person. I realise that marriage is most probably the greatest step of anyone’s life because marriage is not about happy ending, but a happy beginning and the effort to make it stay that way til both are old and grey… When my mum told me to grow wiser, I hate to admit now that what she says is true… And how her advice suddenly makes sense. So 2013 will basically consist of growth in maturity. I am looking forward to more adventures in 2013 ahead ! 

Sign Off! 
Leila 

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Life and Death

I didn’t know how much can death affect my moo until now. Recently my colleague passed away suddenly. Sometimes when I think of it I still tear. Funny thing is I only knew him for 5 months yet it affected me in a way because to think of those he left and the pain it cost them reminds me of my own.
Friends may be surprise because I didn’t tell this to anyone. I kept it mum for 3 years. Now that im emotionally weaken I find myself struggling in a shark pit of the corporate world. Why would the world turn out this way. What are all the politics and fighting for ? are they the benefits of our own ? or the company? Why are we fighting each other just for money ? Is there no other way? Christians preach of the seven sins. If money gives the feeling of greed then we would have carried our sins around (taking it for granted)

Unexpectedly 26th years of life my life took a 360 degree change.  I find myself more vulnerable. What caused this change ? beats me perhaps while growing I discover my weakness or perhaps this time I didn’t wanna hide anymore. If you like me you like the whole of me. Not what you want me to be. ( applies to work, friends and family )
Sign off!
Leila

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

When collective becomes individualist 

Usually Asians are collective community , base on organizational behavior asians usually does things in groups. While westerns are more individualist . Somehow I beg to differ , people change , So does cultures and values. Funny thing is I don't know if this happens in your country but in Singapore during school one of the Amazing mystery of life is: girls must always go to the toilet in groups whether there are enough cubical or not some how they just love to go in groups . This actually happens in my secondary school when girls go to the toilet and came back when an obscenely drench hair I mention obscene mainly because it's not like wet hair attract guys or Singapore is that hot of a country . They just find it more presentable even though it makes their uniform wet as well -_-"' anyway back to topic. It was during my teenage years when I always think that the more the merrier , however turning 26 this coming birthday , I came to realise how I felt when my friends mention the same phrase. Then it struck me how much I have change. I have no idea when the idea of individualist struck me , or when I change that much. I guess that during the course of time and tears it dawn on me to be selfish I'm sure I posted in the previous post as well ! Haha! Call me in denial but I call selfish individualist. Whether you beg to differ or argue, one day you will find yourself taking back the words the more the merrier , because the more you have the MORE liability you have. Yes ! How could I call friends liability ??! Total betrayal! But to face the reality yes I have changed whether in your opinion for better for worst it's up to your judgement. Perhaps it was always in me, perhaps I am much happier that way. So many probabilities but ultimately it's up to the future to judge.   Recently I find myself intolerable of those who stick to me . For this instance my colleague who is older than me, not only he nags, he always sticks to me .. like in mbs he say he will follow me cause he's afraid of getting lost first time okay I get it , but second third ? Please I need some time alone please ! I am the woman here ! Not you! Why are you acting like one ? Pucker up ! And act like a man ! Yes I'm such a feminist, haha ! I guess I can't help me I want to be bad and tell him whatever i wrote above instead I told myself to bear with it ! It's his character, just don't find a guy like him! I need a man not a sissy! Man leads and make precise decision and takes risk ! I know all men who beg to differ will reprimand me . But hey this is my perception and you can't stop me ! I jolly well bet that you yourself set standards for our gender as well so don't judge! Because it's in human nature to judge people . Well to speak for the males sometimes I hate how our own gender behaves ! There now you know we are imperfect ! Haha why am I ranting ? Is there any thing that happen recently ? Nope!~ just a random thought that's all ! I am blessed with what I have right now and I will be blessed with more good things to come =)    Sign off  Leila 

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Lady GAGA born this way Monster Ball 2012

Yo All !

Attended my most expensive concert yet!  LADY GAGA MONSTER BALL !  Been waiting last year ever since Lady gaga had a private concert for Singtels User. It has been rumoured that Lady gaga would return to Singapore for a proper concert at 2012 .. AND YES SHE DID !!
Lady Gaga concert wasn't any tom dick and harry singer wanna be but a singer who created a cult and believes of her own. Can you believe we are of the same age ? WOW ~! Her concert truly inspires me in the naughty, rebellious and good way. So my damage for the concert: 188 + 3 SGD  . At first, Gaga was only going to have 1 concert in SG Date 28th May 2012. Before it was even released out into the public, during the American express card members sale it was already SOLD OUT ! it was a bummer at first then GAGA decided to come up with the second concert! !  :D Thanks to VL who help me grab the tickets on Monday !  haha  I had an oxy moron feeling. I was excited to watch GAGA perform yet I felt the pinch as I took out 200SGD to return to my friend. Never in my life had I watched such an expensive concert. I manage to convince myself that it was all worth it. GAGA was worth it there are only two concert and there will be tons of peeps who would pay the amount to be in my shoes… UNEXPECTECTLY the third concert went up on sale ~ -_-“’ Yes on a second thought I would have gotten the SGD 188 tickets that are seated instead of standing. What if everyone is taller than I ? Anyway I was convinced that standing, I could dance and rock out while GAGA performs and indeed I did.

Here’s the account of what has happened:
  • Morning- Facial
  • Afternoon- Driving Practical ( I failed my first attempt )
  • Evening- PARTY ON BABY ! 

After my driving test there were a lot of errands to run !  firstly I need a light Stick ! how can I not have one to party on GAGA style !! I had on my ducky gaga t shirt and polka dot pants I am already convince it’s dramatic enough for me.. to my embarrassment there were so many peeps that were dressed like GAGA !  how awesome is that ?! Back to the timeline, initially I wanted to head down to bugis party store to get some light stick unfortunately, my resources (time) is limited (ps: my mind kept dwelling that concert starts at 7pm ) I just grab whatever light stick available at the party store at city hall and just gorge down my dinner. Soup with rice – I separated my soup into 3 bowls for them to cool faster. It was quite unsightly but I didn’t want to miss any of the concert.
I reached around 7pm and I saw the queue at line B my mind is already blank out GOSH we have to queue that long ? As I waited for vl I grew impatient, impatiently excited. I enjoyed watching the attire people wear to concerts and the heels are WOW ! SKY HIGH !  how can they withstand the heels for 2.5 hours ?
hais I dunno what's wrong with blogger the picture was originally portrait!

FINALLY VL is here !  haha I gave her two of the donuts I bought out of guilt for rushing her here without her dinner. We went in and we were pretty far from the stage !! I noticed that everyone is so TALL !  so much so that we had to find someplace call, the short people section.
the stage ~ and YES we were that far away bummer
mysterious DJ
                                   
We waited a while when a mysterious DJ appeared and start spinning the music to hype the crowd up. The spinning last about 30 minutes the remixed was awesome!  Came to know that he is call DJ Zedd lol !  the funny thing is we  have no clue who he is. -_-“’ pardon us for being such a mountain tortoise.
taken during the boring classical music

After the climatic spin… then played 30 minutes of classical music -_-‘’’ honestly it was very anticlimactic. We started making friends and I started envisioning how lady gaga would appear. Befriend the two guys behind us.. we just laugh and started laming. Then people start hallucinating and envisioning how gaga would use flying fox down.. and start her opening with born this way ~  Although the wait was long, with the fun crowd, we made turn it into an enjoyable time 



FINALLY the curtains were down! the promised grand castle was unveiled ! the crowds jumped and cheer! The crowd welcomed GAGA with sky enthusiasm (including me of course!) haha Manage to take some photos although 50% of the photos were blocked by mysterious hands !  We were jumping and all sorts during the concert! I swear we could have lost around 2kg with all the standing and jumping!  IT WAS A DARN GOOD EXERCISE.

gaga and her usual weird costumes



LOVE HER SUPER HOT PIANO !

making her speech before singing hair. talk





the last act

Overall the 188 SGD was well spent although this may be one of my most expensive concert yet but it was worth every penny. I particularly love her analogy about spotlight. As she about to sing hair she shares her story about not conforming to norm, how she was bullied in school because of being who she is. But she never ever doubt herself or let people steal her spot light. Ever since she told the audience that she's here to perform not to make you feel good about her but about yourself, I felt this sensation that the night is gonna be extraordinary :) and boy it was ! 

The music was rocking, the speech was uplifting. I went home with a whole new faith... in myself and in GAGA !  It made me want to grab her CD !  Appearance are just appearance but the concert allow me to appreaciate her true beauty.

My verdict: TOTALLY WORTH GOING !  GO AGAIN IF YOU HAVE TO !

Anyway dont say I didnt share the experience !  here's the video of the concert !
ENJOY !


because i have grown to love gaga so much I wouldn't wanna spoil her market for her concert !  so here's the only song I'm gonna post ! 


next concert to go: Corrine May ! I wish someone could just drop money from the sky for me to go katy perry concert !  lol ! !


That's all for now !

Sign Off! 
Leila 

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Unnecessary Help

Came across this so many times!  Ever since my secondary school (High School) guys who are interested but too shy to express will always have irritating friends or buddies to help. I know you peeps wanna help your great guy friend to woo a great girl. But hello !  so if that so call great girl rejects your great guy friend what does it make the great girl ?? a slut? A bitch ? For goodness sake stop going to the girl telling how great the guy is. It is a major turn off!  Maybe there was some spark between us but since you said it … BAM !  there isn’t any more spark because his friends turn you off !  Sorry for being regal I just don’t like people trying to pull people together just by putting good words for the guy. So what if I rejected him ? Am I a bad person who doesn’t know how to appreciate the good? I rather have this whole experience all by myself to find out the good things about him then to have you pressure me.

It happen during secondary school and it was no secret because ALMOST the whole class were speaking up for him -_-“’ the peer pressure so big that I use to run away from these “gossips” Stop pushing me to give this love a try, Stop pushing me to be with this AWESOME guy. If he is that awesome and I like it I will react accordingly. If you were trying to do this in order to speed up the whole sickening process of wooing, GREAT you are doing a great job because I am rejecting him ! Yes in the end I rejected the guy in secondary school and we became best buddy best sisters . Now that we are adults now why am I facing the exact same thing ! -_-"'
I wish guys would just come and woo your own girl. I know that you didn’t ask people to help but all the nosiness is irritating. AND YES it irritates the HELL OUTTA ME that I am going to declare that I am going to find myself a boyfriend hees !  So much so my friend even start introducing already -_-“’ gosh !  anything said out of anger and now I think I’m getting shy ~  haha !
Sign off!
Leila

Friday, June 1, 2012

Falling in love with Film

Yo all !

Since my lap top screen has crash, it was analyse that my mother board too is faulty. So guess it explains my lack of post!  There are no personal computer for me to blog with !  Anyway Just to update, I bought an SLR!  No it’s not a DSLR it’s a FILM SLR !  haha I know there will be a lot of people feel that it is a waste of money to buy a FILM camera in this digital era. But I can’t help to marvel at it’s nostalgic beauty !

BEHOLD ! my Nikon FM2


Yes it is second hand.. and to think that I have learnt in the previous case with Lomography LCA at Snapshop Asia. Haha This time I was more careful. I had a few of my well versed friends in DSLR to make the decision. (Thank you!! ) But in this case I trusted the seller from Clupsnap asia because of a certain mutual friend in Lomography Singapore. At last !  the lens still have microscopic spider -_-“’ I guess when you are buying an oldie you can’t really expect perfection. AT LEAST this camera is in a perfect working condition unlike my LCA case ! HUMPH ! condemned ! 

Well my argument is that in film photography everything is manual. To me learning from basic is very essential. True film is very unforgiving. You cannot make a mistake erase and try again like DSLR. However if I compare this theory to life, life is also unforgiving you cannot erase your past and learn from scratch, you make the mistake and learn.  yes this is a bit too far fetch.
In addition, developing my films each time is like unravelling surprises. Some good some bad.. either way you have to reflect on yourself what may be the problem.


Another is a personal reason of mine is Film photography brings nostalgia. It brings me memories when I was a child and every photo taken means something. You make every exposure counts. One thing about digital is we may take pictures for granted. We take hundreds of pictures without special meaning. Not that I may sound stuck up or something. I do love digital photography and I do Cam Whore at times … but there are no special meanings to the pictures I take. One of it is solely because I’m bored or just to show how vain I am. I BLAME SOCIAL NETWORK :P

 Okay enough of talking !  more pictures !  Lets take a journey through mr photographic journey shall we ??

My first Slide film,

I went to butterflypark in attempt to take some butterfly but this is the best I've got -_-"'

This was an accidental shot in a way... the stranger was not suppose to be there~  but somehow the composition is so much better with him lol !


Titanic Imax wih my friend.. who say ISO 100 cannot take indoor ?




my sister's candid


roses ! with ectar chrome




my main model for black and white
I love a child's innocence :)


Okay that's all for now!  I have to rush for bus. I can't wait to twin pictures !  :P double exposure. !

Sign off!
Leila




Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Norm

Yo !  My laptop will be in hospital for a week luckily I saved all my pictures at my home pc .. Unbelievably I have 84gb for photos ... WOW .. All the pictures ... Taken .  Speaking of which one thing about growing up is that you begin to question , ever since our life existence we continuously question theory and life .. Nevertheless as I look at the pictures I started questioning, why were the pictures taken ? Was it taken because it was truly memorable ? What happen then ? Why were we smiling ? Were we smiling because we were asked to ? Many times we were forced to conform with the social norm.. After the lady gaga monster ball yesterday, I agree very much to what she was said (I will update soon! Concert was a blast !! ) if we were forced to conform to the norm , what is the norm ?  It has been upteen times since my character has been shot at . I will take your feedback but it doesn't mean I have to change .. Because as I question the norm I came to realize that I will not be happy if I have to force myself to be "normal". Why would I put a " " normal . Because what seem normal behaviour to people is not "normal" to me . So it was then decided that I have to take care of myself first before taking care of others. Yes it may seem selfish and I don't expect people to understand . You may find reasons or faults with me .. Perhaps it's true perhaps not. Either way I decide.  The point is: no matter what people say how sickening you are (unless you kill someone dig the eyes out and throw it out the window- yes it happened in Singapore !! ) you are who you are . If you know you can't be happy if you change, don't ! Because friends suppose to love you for who you are. I don't change just because of the feat I have .. I change for the better .  25 is a cross road in life .. Several obstacles several people will be there to question the foundation you have already built . Doesn't mean that the person doesn't appreciate what you built you have to take out all the bricks and rebuild. Have faith ! Soon someone will appreciate what you done architecturely  I am still looking for the one :) everyday I dream of you ... It feels comforting .. You may be fictional now but in time to come I will know .  (gosh I sound so dreamy !  But it's true !! )  Hees ok  I'm home time to sign off !  Leila   

Friday, May 4, 2012

Updates!! (judgement)

Hello all !

Just when I have decided to blog via my personal laptop , my lap top screen cracked -_-"' there goes my money ~ well I have to try to fix my laptop.. So I guess I have to hope and Pray that they would not wipe out my data ! All my tabulation of photos !

So to start, I have been busy working lately . The good news is I have passed my probation. Bad news ?? Hmm how should I put it ? Perhaps it's the culture of the company ?? Perhaps it's just my sensitivity ? I find that alot of judgement has been made in 3 months. Some you may find funny if you know it well enough .. Even I may find myself in disbelieve ..

Judgement as follows:

1)a lady that does not do anything including cooking and house work(simply saying pampered without knowing the sufferings of others)

2)childish girl

3)whiny girl (pretends to beat someone and whine )

4)rich stuck up girl

5)a pretender(someone with mask hypocrite I would say )

What else is there ? Honestly this is how much I can chew .. Some I find it laughable because those who know me may just read what ever judgement written above and laugh. Let's retort in numerical numbers shall we ?

1)evidence and pictures goes to show that I do cook. In fact it's all over the web , my facebook my blog ... So hey I guess no arguements there yes I do cook ! This is quiet laughable as I have said in my previous post my mum always wanted me to be a lady and now I get the criticism I feel that I have fullfill my duty To my mum . To say that I have not seen the world is not fair . I do go out to work part time whenever I have holidays. Regardless whether it's waitressing or washing plates , you name it yes I experience them.

2)I can be childish and mature ... Getting in touch with your inner child doesn't mean that you are oblivious.. So I guess never underestimate people with child like behavior.. Because you are just being envious of the pure happiness a child can experience. No pretending.

3) whiny girl ... Hmm guess what I hate girls who keep on whining ... PLEASE get a life ~ don't whine to get something ... Just go get it yourself.. So if I hate whiny girls why would I wanna be one myself ??I wouldn't wanna grow to hate myself everyday would I ? In addition I beat someone .. I beat for real .. But of course you can't bash someone hard for no reason isn't it ?

4) rich stuck up girl ~ wow ... I will take it as a compliment . But my family is a middle income family who choose to stay grounded. We are not spoiled in anyway . I am taught to work for my goal and I do work.

5)once someone told me that he would very like to peel every mask I have ... I am very offended by this sentence . What do you mean by peeling off ? Have I offended you in anyway . Yes I do have mask .. Everyone has it . So why does it take special interest to you to peel it all down? Mask are worn for sole reason . To cover weakness. Because of the way the world works .. It is hard to trust people to show who you really are ... For the moment , it is still hard to completely trust anyone to lay all my weakness down .. So pardon me for putting on my brave front.

With all these judgement , comes a common reasoning : base on my observation for the past three months ... Ahem !! Please just mere 3 month you can tell my 25+ years of life ? Why would I say 25+ years of life ? Characteristic does not relates to your life history. Or is it ?? Our personalities are form during every crooks and cranny that you have experience . Perhaps, a fall during a walk does not seem significant to you .. But every fall you made, you learn something, it impact on your life ... Your personalities has subtle change . Even you do not notice .

So why pass quick judgement ? Won't you take time to know me more before telling me my faults ? Every humans have faults so do I . If I am willing to accept and know more about you rather make quick judgement / statement shouldn't you do the same for me ?

I hope through this i will grow stronger and come to know that Its not what people say you are that defines you.. It's what your past, present and future that defines you ..

Okay time to To head off !

Sign off.!
Leila

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Reminder

1)Not everyone can accept crazy
2) Not everyone will understand the true you
3) don't trust people blindly
4) you are who you are , people can't define you
5) love yourself before loving others
6) laugh your problems away and face them head on , not run away
7) learn at your pace but match the standard norm
8) stay true to who you are and remind yourself to take off the mask you are wearing
9) gradually let go of the mistakes and Anger and you will become a happier person
10) never ever give up what you set out for even thou it means sacrificing some believes

I know this is going to be tough but hang in there ... Because no one is going to love you more than you love yourself .. I believe in you ... Gambatte mun yeng ! It's time to rumble !

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Remember when - Carl and Ellie (UP)


I can watch this animated movie a thousand and one time yet it moved me...

first thought: the beautiful love story that touched me. the kind of love that many would want to have. Loving one another faults and laughing through good and bad times.

Second thought: OH GOSH what will happen when either of my parents face this ? I was scared for them. I rather have my own heart broken rather that one of them. Like missing a piece of puzzle that always completes you. either way I will try my best as a daughter to ease the pain... (yeah I know I'm thinking too much but I worry for my loving parents)

This movie can make me tear again and again because it is a beautiful love story of believe and faith. Believing your partner, having faith in your believes (whether it is yours or not. ) I believe to love someone what's yours is mine.. and what's mine is yours. my dreams and yours combine as one. It might be mushy to some people who reads this. Sustainable marriage is very hard to maintain because we are living in a world where people are self absorb...

So having said so ! give without expecting returns take with gratitude and perhaps life would be more fulfilling

Sign off !
Leila

he say she say

Perhaps it's one of the most infamous song title about gossip and rumors. Inevitably, rumors are inescapable. It appears in all sorts of places, whether it's family rumors, among friends or office.

Perhaps it's just how we human "communicate" our perception of a certain someone.
I wouldn't say I am a righteous person that I have never spread some myself. We live in the world where the power of words and speech are strong. Sometimes maybe it's pure laziness to source for hard evidence, we take people's words for it.

sometimes I cannot be bothered with rumors but I do not believe that ignorance is bliss neither do I believe in reacting angrily help either. I'm just fascinated in the kinds of things that people think about me. Recently I was assume to be a "lady". To me it's a compliment ! haha all these years my mum would love to teach me how to be primp and proper but I refuse so now since I perceived as lady at least my mother's wish is fulfilled.

In the past, I the things that people say weighs heavily. Although I might not seem to care as much, I USED to go home and ask myself why aren't I accepted to the social norm. I may be crazy or hyper active but at least we have one thing in common. We are all humans with limits. I too have limits. I just do not like to show to people. Showing vunerability might/might not get help. From years of experience, it may be a double edge sword. I have learnt that no matter what people might say all it matters it's you LOVE yourself you are confident of who you are. Of course being corky is another thing, but loving yourself is opening up to suggestion and facing your own faults when people are pointing at your direction. Remember ! faults are only necessary to improve and get where you are today. we are not perfect so embrace it!

PS: I know I have SO MANY post behind time. The post nowadays are heavy topics as well ! lol I will try my best to update the events I have participated.

Til then... this friday I'm going to Vietnam for a business trip. Can't help feeling nervous. :P Hopefully there will be enough time for pictures to illustrate my journey to you :D

Sign off !
Leila

Saturday, February 25, 2012

The Hard kind of education


Yo!
Just want to keep this blog updated ! Just found out I've been googled ... the oxy moron is I am very VERY expose to the web. Knowing that I've just been googled makes me feel.. uneasy. I know there will be tons of people that will tell me why dont just privatized your stuff. If I did the blog wouldnt be a mode of sharing like what you're reading now right ? ANYWAY, I will try to calm myself and re emphasize that a blog is a blog if you're pestering me based on what I've written on the blog. Is just like getting a "magic wand" after reading harry potter / finding your vampire after watching twilight. PLEASE what is told or written on blogs you can only take it with a pinch of salt. If there is people claiming that blogging is just a mode of seeking attention.. I rather have real attention rather than a VIRTUAL one.

back to topic shall we ?

Recently I've undertaken a new tuition kid in primary 6 foundation. Some how during practicing our science assessment we stumble upon the hardest topic of all, reproduction in humans. Just as I would explain to any kid I tell him about the women menstruation cycle... HOWEVER, he started asking on men's reproduction of sperm. It all started when he state that he did not see the bladder for the women's reproduction system diagram. Then he start asking doesnt women pee ? why dont we have any bladder. So as vague as possible I told him that woman does not utilize the same opening for peeing unlike men.

Thus he made a conclusion : "men pee out sperm"

I know this is not true... but as a tutor I believe in telling the ugly truth. True that he might not need to know and keep his innocence. But I do not want the child to go around making wrong assumptions. Thus I introduce the word "ejaculate". I'm already feeling odd when I tried to explain and it goes like this:

Child: So we pee out the sperms together with the urine ?

Tutor: NO ~ it's not call peeing is ejaculate. sperm will not dispose themselves when you pee.

Child: huh?! then how they come out ?

Tutor (starting to feel awkward but I still try to be a professional educator) : Erm ... Just like women men produces new batch of sperm every month, in fact every day. However you can only store a certain "amount" of sperm. SO ... men tries ways to dispose them.

Child looking clueless.

I tried to explain in an appropriate way but I STILL have no idea how to phrase is as sugar coated as possible.

So I tried to explain: When men are "ready" their hormone changes. Every living things has the urge to continue it's species so does humans. SO .. they turn to different medias in response to the hormonal changes some turn to porn some turn to other stuff like girls. BUT for those who cannot control their instincts get themselves into trouble. THAT is why there are such cases as molest and rapes. So when you grow up as a man, it is your responsibility to decide how you want to steer yourself to be. When you lose control you play with fire. I can only tell you this much now. The rest you have to grow up and understand what I'm talking about.

The child looks a bit less confused ... But I'm already looking guilty. Because I know that every mother will hate me spoiling her child's innocence and every guy will hate me for putting their gender down (not like they can help it). But hey ! I rather the child knows what is going on than obsessing with girls and doing the wrong stuff . But IF I really did something wrong,I apologize sincerely. There is no other way I can think at that moment to put it. I can only vaguely remember once that my classmate that sat beside me during my secondary four is that men got it harder than the women. Now that I read on cases and base on my experience I understand and I sympathize men out there. BUT there are fine line with sympathy and allowing men to take advantages of women. My stand stays firm. Mutual respect for genders. If you respect us females like your equal, perhaps you should keep away your hormones for a second and listen to what we have to say or feel.

It maybe a touchy subject to blog about (at least for us asians) but I just thought that this will be something I will laugh about later or when I face the very same cross road of educating my child in sexual education I may read this.

I know there is always a better way to sugar coat sexual education. my parent's way ? is just to give us a book to read and yes I still have it! it might be twenty plus year old book! lol !
you may agree or disagree with my method. but in parenting there is no such thing as the RIGHT method. yes I may not be a parent yet but I do not need to be a parent to know facts such as this. In the past I stumble upon the parenting book my parents kept. I read it and from that moment on it dawn on me that as much as I want to prove my point to my parents they are trying SO hard just to teach me what they have learn. Knowing how stubborn my parents is I know it takes a great deal to turn to books for answer. I feel a pang of guilt and gratefulness.

My parents may not be the greatest parents in the world but knowing that they tried as hard as they can to make our lives work out better than their's , THEY ARE already THE GREATEST PARENT ON EARTH.

I think til now my parents have no clue on what I knew about them haha OPPS ! but love need not be express by merely words. I believe action still speaks louder than words SO DOES sincerity.

Sign off !
Leila

Friday, February 17, 2012

Yo !
Finally an update on my life! haha it has been 2 weeks since I started out work . I know it pretty much an Oxy moron(contradiction) but the stress levels, politics and etc was getting into me.
In the past I used to sleep walk a handful of times but it was only during my primary school days when I was on medication or stress. In a long time coming, I actually had one!! and this time I know the content of my dream so I roughly know what I did in my dream. the only thing is I do not know if I did it in reality. So I decided thats it ! I'm going to a foot massage to relieve myself and hopefully get a well rested night.
Foot massage always work.. but I was unaware of the living nightmare happening while I was asleep.
Let me state this thing straight, I do not like to pin point or start to bitch or perhaps what you call publicise dirty laundry. What I can say is I was disappointed although there was no harm intented but harm was done... IN FACT I have my new company HR in my friend's list ... so what up ! haha what else can I say ? I put this upon myself that I didnt set my social network to private ? this is not my branding I dont do this. I love to be someone who shows different side of me. Why do I need to set my privacy mode just cos I want to prevent my dirty laudry from being aired out ? I show who am I but now I am all grown up I have to take things in a bigger picture. I need to show only what is necessary for people to see... because people like to judge. Bet there is already judgement made just when I post this entry. but What the hell... I have never defame someone else because I know what it's like to have the name pointed out in black and white out of anger. I am revengeful but I have to think of consequences. So what up ? If I was already established a lawyer's letter would have been sent. I would have already send several of it ... but i am not ! I'm just a tad normal quarter century years of lady... with reputation free for people to smear. I am what I am.. people can define me but NEVER KNOW ME !

Sign off LEILA

Monday, February 13, 2012

Happy Valentines' Day

Hello !
Happy Valentines' Day everyone ! Some people might be celebrating alone like me ! :P Not exactly alone I'm going to celebrate with my girls to pamper myself. If you do not have anyone to call your own yet ...
Love yourself before you love others !
Never ever forget about you! because most of the times e envelope ourselves with other people's problem but we forgoten about our own needs !

Love you then Love others ! Not asking you to be a vain pot selfish person thou do not misinterpret !

Every year in spirit of valentines' I always made things or perhaps save my money to buy gifts for my friends. :D just because I appreciate everyone of them. Those who havent tasted them, Here's a Virtual taste of my cupcake of LOVE ;)


Hope everyone is enjoying their Valentine's day !

If you're are envious of people holding roses or bears etC , DONT BE ! heres a virtual hug for you ! In the world of friends there's no strangers :D


Sign off !

Leila



Sunday, February 12, 2012

Chingay 2012

Yo !
I know chinese new year is almost over... Infact the good news is just when chinese new year ended I've got a job ! :D I made a promise to myself that I'll not screw this up and I'm definitely trying my best not to eat my own words! So that explains the lack of posting :P
Anyway back to topic shall we? hees

It was my virgin time to chingay.. irony is; even though i had helpout for chingay multiple times I have not actually sit and watch a full Chingay. Many would have told me that I'm lucky to have earn myself a category 1 ticket but ! the ticket was "hard" earned. It was given out of apology from my supervisor for the payment issue... So despite of all the pain I went through it was pretty worth it after all.

I was given a pair of tickets, orginally I wanted to present it to my aunts who were here from malaysia. At the very last minute they pulled out. Mainly because to them it wouldnt be fun for just the both of them... Franktically I tried to sell... "Fail" then I tried to find a partner to go with me ... FAIL ! Then I start to wonder if this tickets were more of a liability rather than an asset -_-"'
Just the night before a guy message requesting to buy a single ticket. Yay ! Not only I get to watch chingay this time I also get to earn some cash ;) (of course there was some white lie told in order to sell the ticket at a good price- AHEM Im a business man after all AND a marketer )
On show day, I was REALLY busy. I spent the whole morning and early afternoon packing my room. Then I had to rush down to meet my fellow lomographers to learn some stuffs and to fly my kite of course :D Since I was in a mad rush to head down to marina barrage to meet my friends I didnt have a proper lunch. Thus I only went ahead and made do with london chocolate roll ( process food or at the very least this process cake taste disgusting I had strawberry and cream in the end it just taste like chemically soaked sponge lol and 'm not exagerating )
So after all the kite flying I met up with my buyer and pass him the ticket. I hate to just dump him even though he did state that he didnt know his way. but I was famished ! I had to eat some proper food. The selfish me decided to dump him and went ahead to grab some food. :P By the time I finish my dinner it was already 7.15 or so and I have to be seated at 7.30pm

On my way to F1 pit Building I love the feathery effect on my head piece :D



Amongst the crowd of people rushing over


I rushed down together with the crowd and sat myself just in time...
Never did I know that what's in store for the next 30 minutes was a patriotic cheer -_-"'
Not that I hate the country I stayed most of my life in but.... To repeat the sentence "we are one " for 30 minutes is kinda irritating after 10 minutes. At least give a variation. In addition when I look around me there were a number of foreigners... (Then I began to view the cheer as a little bit too localize and improper futuremore it's chingay not NDP) No offense thou I just thought that Chingay should be a more globalise show.
Half time I was so bored that I played with the recycled pin wheel that was found in the goody bag. I kept having retakes photo after photo.. ( I could have swore the uncle and the lady beside was mentally shaking their head commenting about how vain can youngster be ... But HEY ! i beats repeating we are one for half an hour... lol




What I wanted to achive was movement that was something like this ... The magazine paper was so flimsy that it was really hard to blow .... and make it spin !


Most of my attempts looks something like this ! lol !

The opening was a HUGE flying dragon... cute in a way but at the other side of the F1 pit building is a pheonix. The dragon and pheonix met in the middle and gave a spectacular display. UNFORTUNATELY we were not in the middle of the pit... we kinda miss out some shows. So if the tickets in the middle are of the same price, It beats sitting as near as the president as possible because you get EXTRA shows.

To summarise, (I cant possibly tell you show by show otherwise it'll be a book long! ) there were so many displays of glow in the dark dragon, creative displays of "floats" and wonderful and impactful dances ( I decided to conclude that dancing in water are great no matter what kind of dance is ) I have never regret coming down to chingay to watch such a spectacular show. I am proud of Singapore to host such a international standard parade(except for the cheer) and I would not have hessitate if some one ask if I want to participate in another Chingay whether performers or spectators. Watching it live is definitely WAY BETTER than watching on TV. Best of all it wasnt even hot and sweaty !
So the rest I shall illustrate with pictures shall we ?

The big floating dragon! unfortunately my shuttle speed for point and shoot sucks !

The girls dancing on water it was such a beautiful sight !

The mysterious ... glowing boat !

These are the couple that the guy bought the ticket from me just to support ! Talk about good friends !

the SPLA-tecular performance ! I'm so glad I got these :S


To side track a little, look at the westerner staring behind me ! scary !

The human made glowing water and fire dragon

Human stacked dragons ! can you believe it ? lol !

I forgoten what name is this but we call it the deity float ! haha

The Deity !


This is sponsored by Singapore flyer...



Another dragon ! this one breathes fire but im unable to get it in pictures !

Butterfly float!
The March of the elephant
Swan !

Indian cultural dance



The float from Japanese Ambassy with life performance!
Indonesian masquerade !


My Fav STAR WARS ! hees

The Happiest float of the night !

Glow in the dark dragon !

Sports theme dances

Getting ready for the finale

Finale boat !
and Finally the fireworks !
Woo hoo !!

Sign off Leila