Tuesday, January 31, 2012

The Angel and Devil Inside us

I Finally finish my novel The Devil and Miss Prym by Paulo Coelho the Brazil writer that inspires me so much with each and every novel. Yes I am most probably obsessed with him. I dont really touch on any other book except his nowadays.. I wish he will continue writing and continue to inspire us !

This blog entry is basically my take on the whole novel itself. If you are interested in the novel please click here

What I have learnt:

In the novel it discuss about the nature of humans. The good and evil. For centuries the good and evil, yin and yang the angel and devil has maintain balance in the world. In each and everyone of us comprises of the good and bad.

I know sometimes situation drives us to our bad side or feel that the world is unjust. Why are the good punished for something that wasnt done? For multiple times I might have pledge vengeance against the almighty. The more I was "punished" the more I think that the good does not pay. While there will be many times human will be drove to edge, many people do not realize that we are sometimes blinded my our rage.

We are constantly battling with ourselves with choices, good and bad. I must admit that I find it much more easier to make bad choices. It's easier to hate than to forgive but I can't find solace with just hating. Feels like my life is going no where. Just then I told myself that hating is draining energy on my side, and I cant hate forever.

What am I trying to say that it's not uncommon to battle with yourself. Sometimes you'll lose yourself in the process, to find balance with yourself it's all worth it. It does not matter how people may view your thought progress as someone crazy, fret not because you are not alone. Everyone is constantly battling themselves, some may not admit, some already found peace for the moment.

The choices between good and bad, angel or devil is entirely up to you. Just take note, do not let your choice consume who you are. DO NOT LOSE YOURSELF..
If you are at the brink of losing yourself, find comfort in someone's embrace, if you do not have someone to embrace find somewhere that will bring you peace. It can be anywhere :D

Mine is my bed ... What's your's ?

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Thursday, January 26, 2012

Rurouni Kenshin (2012) Teaser Trailer

Yes it's finally here ! The "REAL" Rorouni Kenshin ! My first ever one and only anime I was crazy about 12 years ago ... (yes 12 years ago I was in Secondary 1... Definitely getting old! now every child calls me aunty -_-"' ) Although I am excited for the movie the Kenshin, but at Kenshin has a high expectation to meet since his my childhood idol.. :P at first look I was disappointed with the guy playing the main character.. because I am not shy to say I have someone else in mind to be my kenshin.

Doesnt he have the "kenshin" look at the side ?? hees
Look at his killer stare to me he already won half the battle with this stare :)

Unmistakably, a korean actor but I think he will portray Kenshin very well as much as he portrayed Bidam in Queen Seon Duk.. I am totally in love with him his evilness, vulnerability, loving, longing eyes... EXACTLY what kenshin will need because every strong personnel needs some one to rely and express their vulnerability at times which i will touch on later. ;)

Anyway if you want to know the REAL cast of Kenshin Rorouni 2012 you can scroll below.
The pictures and caption are from Crunchyroll Some I must comment that they do look alike. but Kenshin !! PLease act your best and convince me ! I can't wait for the movie to come I swear!


Veteran TV actor Eguchi Yosuke (Tokyo Love Story, Lunch no Joou) Saitou Hajime, former Shinsengumi Captain and current Tokyo police officer.


Kikkawa Kouji (Kamen Rider W) damaged-goods assassin Udou Jine.


Kagawa Teruyuki (Toshiie to Matsu) as opium dealer and all-around dirtbag Takeda Kanryuu.


Satou Takeru as Himura Kenshin


Takei Emi as Kamiya Kaoru


Aoki Munetaka as Sagara Sanosuke


Taketo Tanaka (debut role) as Myoujin Yahiko


Aoi Yuu as Takani Megumi

Sign off !

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Lucky Plaza ??? Not so Lucky After all

It was a very hmm what shall I say ? Shocking experience !
I swear it was one of those moments that i will remember forever.

Lets begin the story met yan hui, voon ling and I met for dinner at orchard. During dinner we have decided to head to lucky plaza to look at the fuji film bundle. At that time it was around 9pm the shops are closing. We headed to level two to look for a fujifilm subsidiary store. PLease take a look at my layout plan below ..

Yes it is a very rough sketch and not to scale. let's put legends shall we ?
  1. Red dot : Thief
  2. Purple: Yan Hui (YH)
  3. Blue: Voon Ling (VL)
  4. Yellow: Leila (ME)
because I was having a dose of drowsy medication, I was rather tired after climbing up two levels of staircase so I was pacing behind. VL was surfing for information while YH was checking out the store. At first I saw a suspicious man at point A but i didnt think that much because he was just looking over. (some how I have no idea why he caught my attention.) then after that as he was near VL at point B he pretended to look for the store ... and suddenly he launch himself at VL (at this point of time my first reaction was OMG why is he attacking my friend?? ) then he grab my friend's Iphone started to run and bang onto Yh's left shoulder. (at that time my thought was SOMEONE please help why ISNT anyone helping at all!! oh my gosh what should I do ?? ) I froze in the moment so did VL lol then I start hopping ... "Oh Oh OH OH MY GOD" "Snatch thief" and I started to run. ( YH thought that I was hyper... -_-"' and I have no idea why my first instinct wasn't to scream even as I watch him launch ... ) I am SO SO SO SHOCKED ! I didnt know what to do ... even as I gave chase together with YH behind me, my mind was full. I was thinking what should i do to snatch back started to analyse my own strength, and then as he turn at the corner I slowed down. I told myself to at least wait for YH to catch up with me. because he might make use of the blind spot to attack me.

In the end we lost him. -_-"'
I surprise myself.. because I found out my cowardly side... the reaction, I should have reacted right, I should have scream.. even though the suspicion was raised at point A but I was oblivious ... I finally understand what it's like to be your own angel and devil.

Angel: to help my friend chase down the man
Devil: being oblivious and taking care of my own safety during my chase rather than going forth

I was cowardly, even though my friend say that it wasnt my fault to begin with. But it was still cowardly. the reaction .... It wasn't right why was I thinking more about my well being rather than helping out. Why is there no one of the same physical strength helping the girls out ? there were so Many people there. WHY ?
Why am I more worried about getting punch at the corner and slowed down for the moment ?

There are so many whys in this scenario. and worst of all I swear I saw the guy in light brown T shirt ... BUT it turns out dark colored. It looks like I am very disorientated by the medicine.
After so many hours of telling the same thing making a police report.... BLAH BLAH BLAH we laughed... it was a funny experience. It was shocking it was weird too ! weird to me because of my thought process ... anyway beware of this Man!! you can spit at his picture or help us curse him until he got his own karma.. HOW DARE HE ! HE SHALL BE PLACE IN MY HALL OF SHAME ! Foreigners !! Humph ! We are earning hard earn money the same way as you ! WHY the hell would you choose to take the "easy" way to steal or snatch ?!
You can't hide long especially hiding from consequences ... It will sneak up to you sooner or later ...

Sign Off !

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Bike X 2012

Bike X 2012 is here again !! This time there is only 1 public participant... so we were practically in NTU's event. But since YEC already agreed to cooperate, Xiu ming, Hee Long , Jon and I were there to support NTU students. This time it was pretty challenging because the event was pretty last minute and I was already sick ! Argh !! The total distance was about 40 km.
1st Pit stop: from Pasir Ris Carpark D ---> Changi Village Hawker,
2nd Pit stop: Changi Village Hawker ---> Sun Plaza park
3rd Pit Stop Sun Plaza Park ---> East Coast Park
4th Pit Stop ---> East Coast Park ---> Gardens by the Bay

HELLO! we are the SWEEPERS ! :D
LOL tall HEe Long and short us lol !

Munching away .. at Changi Village Hawker

Now that we are full and READY to set off !!

Jon Instigating the event

Second pit stop and the guys are playing volley ball ... ARENT they tired ??

As you can see from my eyes ... TIRED ! :P

Jon doing his cycling Stun ... Funny

Do you know that I was taking all this was taken when I'm Riding my bike ? So proud of myself

The beautiful scenery of Gardens by the bay :D by that time Jon and Xiu Ming was Already sleeping at Macdonalds ... -_-"' cheater!
These few days i have been hearing this ... why is your face so oily ?? Yes I am glowing ! why dont you ask me if I'm pregnant? instead of the same old question ? I can't stop my pores from producing the oils ... >.<

We cycle til the dawn break.. yes... while I was cycling back from Gardens by the bay to East Coast Park, it was a mental torture... my butt was sore ... REALLY sore I can't even sit at my sides.. pedaling becomes really hard and my knees began to feel numb.. there were so many times I feel like giving up telling myself that it's okay because I am sick I should not push myself. But Hee Loong was really sweet he accompanied me all the way til we are back.
We even got lost ! because I was cycling like grandma lol. When we reached East Coast Park ... Hee Loong was telling my ten more minutes and we will reach macdonald... 10 minutes became 20 minutes 20 became 30 minutes. I Swear I would have killed Hee Loong ! lol

Finally we have reached Macdonald! My happy meal ! :D HEe loong was so tired that he feels so distant... even thou he was just 20, he kept complaining about old age ... -_-"' !

Jon and Xiu Ming refreshed with 3 hrs of sleep !
HEe Loong and I Shag with 0 hours of sleep !
OKay now it's off back home .. It started at 8.30pm and reached home at 8.30am can you believe it ! Now I have to build up my stamina for OCBC this year for SURE
In the end my family and friends thinks I'm crazy for pushing myself SO FAR this time. But I dont really like to be "bed ridden" sick.. So I will proceed with my life until my body says it's tired.. usually it will be okay :D
Limits is only what you set out to be isn't it ? ;)

Sign Off

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Starting with a Clean Slate

As you guys notice by now if you do keep track my template for my blog is change to something cleaner less complicating.
Loving how my blog so far.

In this blog, there are two tag lines that will run throughout the year and somehow my year's resolution as well.

Last year in 2011, some how disappointment drowns the light. So many disappointments in humans life and goals. I do have many resolution set last year. but some how there were still a few that were not fulfilled.
Well we can't let the past defines us some how right ?
One of the program I love is.. Dog Whisperer. Although this show is rehabilitation of dogs, I do not have a dog I find the way of dog rehabilitation similar human way of life. In fact it reveals our loop hole of life.

So now I may say that I rather live like dogs.
I find their way of living pretty meaningful.

To know more, I have embedded the interview about which talks about his principles.
But one point that he didn't mention in the interview is: Live in the Now.

Do not let the past drag you, LIVE IN THE PRESENT and not worry about the future.

This i will follow. and I will try to forgive someone a hundred percent because my heart cannot trust someone hundred percent. Neither will I show my true heart. So to forgive and start at Zero is pretty hard. But for the very least I will try.

SO ! shall we start sharing my resolution or my motto for my new Layout ?

The Red Circle is actually my name :D L. E. I. L. A.
I know leila is a name with Persian Origin. which means: Dark Hair Beauty or Night. I wouldnt say that I am telling you guys I am a dark hair beauty. I choose this name because of the beauty and peace I feel at night. Love the night :P

  • L. earning
  • E. verything
  • I. n
  • L. ife's
  • A. dventure
I have been staring what I can do with my name for a VERY long time. I came up with this.
Because after last year I find my life pretty adventurous lol even though I may be tired of living at times because the obstacles I face, I break down and cry (yes everyone is vulnerable and I'm not afraid of expressing my venerability.) Every time I break I find my poise, and learn from the adventures and obstacles that life bestow on me. SURE i will be thinking why do I deserve punishment ? What have I done wrong to get the SAME punishment again and again? Did I not learn? Did I not get wiser?
But ultimately I want to tell myself that this will be written in my life's biography (my head) and move on. Every Sad things in life will be inverted to become a happier one :)

Okay on with the second Motto:

felt is more of the past tense of feel but not the woolen cloth material felt. I don't know how you may view this blog. It may be a blog full of rambles to you, or perhaps some crap that this person has nothing better to do with her life. Why waste my time and blog? Dont I have anything else better to do??

Well my blog is my expression of feelings. Just like a painting can express any gestures to you, I am expressing myself to you. You may view me as a emotional weakling, or self absorb socialite. But you may never know the true interior of a blogger. Nobody is stupid enough to tell you everything by blog. Everyone has their own secret so do I. So if you wanna judge me by my blog go ahead. It will be childish to do so. IF you know me for long term, and still judge me for what I've told you before and written go ahead, you still may not know me for who I am. (and I bet it's real)

back to felt.
  • F.un
  • E. njoyment
  • L. aughter
  • T. ears
Things I will share with you is my feelings. If anyone wants to use my feelings as a weapon to break me. I already had my fair share of battles to know better.
So I wont say I will share my REAL feelings with you. But I will share my feelings in general that I think it's great to pen down and tell you what I have learnt.

Some thoughts may be random because I'm constantly thinking, some thoughts may be through experience. But ultimately I do not want to direct any anger at anyone and do harm. I do not think it's wise to hang your dirty laundry up in the air ( in this case internet )
Dont you know people are skeptics and judgmental ? Showing dirty laundry might not be the best move you can make to portray yourself to the public let alone friends.
I am going to be a oxy moron and State that I am human sometimes i will hang my dirty laundry. But not personal stuffs ! So forgive me if I did especially the recent post about Snapshop Asia. HAHA !

My New Year Resolutions ?
I am not going to share my goals yet. Since it's so common I bet everyone had the same as mine. We all just want to do well and contribute to the world's history isn't it ? Very pageantry answer but some how vaguely true

Like an artist that express themselves to you, I express myself to you with words.
Influencing? Thanks ! Plain Nonsense? Well I'm a lady growing up discovering the world as I grow what can you do ? ;)

Sign off

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

NYE 2011

My New Year Eve I should say it's Epic ! It is nice to let things loose once in a while.. Not long ago, my fiance told me I'm in Stomp! -_-"' not exactly what I am looking for due to the reputation that Stomp have, when you're up on their web it couldn't be anything good.
Luckily I am not drunk enough to do anything stupid just a picture to show things happening in Singapore (PHew! and I thought I'm in trouble ! )
The picture is found within here
Spot me ! lol
It was fascinating to me that one of the guy featured in the picture was really ecstatic bout the whole stomp thing. But to me it was more like trouble lol !
Clubbing is like a Taboo.. you know that it's a place where you can get yourself into trouble yet it's a place where people go to have fun and some how boost your morale.

Question: How can clubbing boost your morale ?

Scenario 1: a guy eyes on a girl approaches the girl and ask her for a dance

Morale boost 1: An affirmation from a stranger that you are still attractive and wanted. Sounds cheesy but it does gives a positive vibe
Scenario 2: A guy approaches a girl at the dance floor in hopes of getting lucky tonight

Morale Boost 2: If the girl is too drunk to reason with herself the guy scores ! meaning he still got the moves...
Scenario 3: A girl is asked to go up to the pole and do some dancing

Morale boost 3: A girl feels great about herself, basically boils down to be sexy enough to do erotic dance for guys
I can go on and on about how clubbing boost your morale.. It may seem like nonsense to some or maybe it just sounds like I'm justifying such a rebellious act on my part.
It may be true that some people go there with agenda, but my only agenda is to enjoy the music and let the music drown all my problems just to live in the moment. It ain't that bad isn't it ?
I have been studying how a guy approach a girl in a club so far but I guess it will be another post!

For now I just want to share what a fantastic time I had with the peeps that join us ! In Butter factory. Sure it may be squeezy and all. Nonetheless still fun ! Thanks for looking out although I pretty much know who was eyeing.

Although the pictures are in my little "black Album" it doesnt hurt to share a couple of pictures isnt it ?

As usual I'll be narrating as I go through the pictures !

Fiance and I reach butter first, but because of our friends coming later, We practically spent our time worrying if they could not even get into the club ...
So we tried to chill and took a couple of pictures LOL
Ultimately, it was 2012, and friends arent in the club yet. My vision for the whole night is to see a un-disrupted view of the fireworks but all my plans were ruined.. 1) the balloons were blocking once the balloons drop I was panicking (yes I'm afraid of bursting balloons). 2) there was a tree blocking the view. 3) it was chaotic inside
In the midst of trying to avoid balloons we found this cute little penguin on the floor :D
too bad we had to throw it away because I dont see myself carrying this penguin the WHOLE night.
Then Fiance's friends finally arrive! haha ! well better late than never !

Usually I dont like to drink in clubs because I dont like being vulnerable in clubs. As girls I am wary that some guys are just here for the hunt. Take the ques at the staircase at the wee hours of the night in Zouk. Some guys are just standing there waiting for the "right" moment to approach girls. But because this is new year after all.. I had a couple of drinks ... As usual I turned red.. (-_-"')

After 3 o clock the crowds are beginning to disperse, and you know what we did? we stole butter's decoration; the penguin! haha ! who can resist this cute little thing?
I put this picture deliberately because I met this self proclaim japanese girl who was obviously drunk and high. She scream at my ear (my ear drums almost burst with pain) and the guy beside her? I'm not even sure if that's her boyfriend because she express her disinterest in boys...
See what I told you ? morale boost for the guy ! he is damn lucky and she is damn unlucky to have him... ( but hey you never know if they are a couple or not)

Since it does not concern us let's take it as it is ... and assume all is real..
Moral of the picture: never get too drunk!

In the end we partayed. Poor Fiance got really sick after that !
After the whole night. I was strolling back looking at the first dawn of the year.
And I tell myself that I will never let my past define who I am or drag me down.
I am looking forward and living the moment.

This is the New Year, New Beginning, New Adventure.

Even Though it's too late,
But Cheers to Living the moment!

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Change Is constant

Yo guys !

Firstly, happy new year again ! I cAn repeat this over and over again just so I can lift my own spirits up ! Anyway I have been having this thought in my head over and over again about changes ..
Changes brings uncertainty, it may be a blessing in disguise or a devil with a dagger behind Its back . Since it's 50 50 chance , why the hell we humans are so afraid of ? Isn't the gamble in life that gives you the most valuable lessons and harvest in life ? Why this thought occur to me is that I find myself in the same disposition with the others when I wad hugging my bolster at night .. Last time I use to or sort of ridicule the idea .. Of can't bear to leave your childhood doll or keepsake ... It's as if it's a part of them .. Karin has her magmag , Melissa has her dolly . I swear looking at especially dolly will give the yuck or eerk to any stranger ... Yet now I find myself doing the exact same thing hugging the hideous bolster .. I admit it's yucky , I can't even show people my bolster when visiting . Yet I can't imagine living without it or throwing my bolster away.

Then this occur to my mind, why do I feel at ease whenever I come back to my bolster every night ? Is it because knowing that changes is always happening and having something constant keeps me at ease ? Am I afraid of changes ? Is my leap of faith diminishing ?

Yes I must admit that I am afraid of changes .. Because gradually growing , reality sinks in gradually as well. Just when you realize nothing is constant except changes ... Change is constant and it scares a hell outta people to know the uncertainty of the future ? Yet we love thrillers and complain that dramas are boring because we know where the ending leads to ... Isn't it an oxy moron ?

Perhaps humans should be in mind that change is constant at least it sounds more assuring that people change , the whole world may change , we are getting accustom to the dramatic change in weather .. Tsunami, floods and earth quake isn't uncommon any more .. At least one thing is for sure that it will stay the same .. Changes .. No matter for better or worst, we keep faith that whatever changes that the world gives us we always get something in return good or bad it does not matter .. Because in the end Its still valuable. Maybe one day I will grow to be more courageous (oh yes pls !! I'm already 25.. But it does not mean I'm not a child at heart who is still pacing my growth)

Some people may argue with this sentence but since it's something in trend in 2012 let me say this as a metaphor can I?

Even though the world may end.. Changes is still hAppening because there is not such thing as a full stop in mother nature only dot dot dot ... Get it ? Hees
Doesn't matter as long as I get my analogy it'll be fine !

Ok my iPhone is going flat ..
Sign off !

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

My Xmas 2011

I know this is a really late post since 2012 already hit ! :P but I have to pen down my special xmas isnt it ?
This year as organised by my sister's organization, We went over to Johor to volunteer ar the Orphanage. My contribution is : Face, and hand painting. My sister bought crayons .. and liquid paint with brush like tooth brush bristles .. ( doesnt make it any easier ) under the scrutiny of the children I paint slowly to make every one my master piece .. but .. kids shall be kids very frank ! (which is a very good )
Look at my BEST design yet lol !

This is actually my first time in an orphanage. I cant help being a skeptic of their living environment surprisingly, the orphanage system is very well organised ! the older children takes initiative to take care of the young. Everyone helps out in the house chores ... ( Which reflects on my own initiation to do house chores ! Opps :P ) I wouldnt wanna change anything about this xmas contribution :D

Another special day is ... my aunt's wedding on boxing day she's not young, she weds at 39 years old. I admire her faith and strength in this case she is a very strong opinion-ed. Looking at her "happy ending" brings me to tear .. what I can learn from this wedding is to keep faith and love yourself. ultimately your soul mate will come to you. :)
I was appointed Emcee .. Mandarin emcee to be exact! (oh my... I am not the best composer in mandarin I am also not good in pronunciation especially when I'm nervous. ) Since the couple ask I am honored to do my best :D hees
Pictures ! shall we?
I know this is unrelated but I have to introduce KL STYLE Hokkien Mee THE ORIGINAL
as you can see it's even packed in newspaper. I dont know about you guys BUT all newspaper wrapped food are yummy TRUST me I grew up eating food from newspaper.
Look at the yummy hokkien Mee even Geylang lor 31 cannot be compared to the original! Boycott the fake hokkien mee in normal hawkers and go to KL china town to have this I swear you all will be convinced!
okay back to wedding we were all planning how we are gonna TORTURE the groom lol NO PAIN NO GAIN
and yes here comes the groom !
one of our pranks ! shss !

My wedding picture kota tinggi... I was the bride's "slave" opps I mean maid for the excursion :P hees. So I took liberty :P

My sis and I all dressed up with my rooster hair (HEY I did it myself :P )
Registration table .

Cute Yong Kit hees
and the THIRD cutie ... Yong hao ! Lovely Muack Muack !
My trip was fruitful, fulfilling and bonds us as a family.. I cant wait to watch the lil ones grow ~ Cheers to a fruitful end of 2011 and to NEW beginnings !

NYE post soon !
I Swear :P

Sign off!