Wednesday, May 30, 2012


Yo !  My laptop will be in hospital for a week luckily I saved all my pictures at my home pc .. Unbelievably I have 84gb for photos ... WOW .. All the pictures ... Taken .  Speaking of which one thing about growing up is that you begin to question , ever since our life existence we continuously question theory and life .. Nevertheless as I look at the pictures I started questioning, why were the pictures taken ? Was it taken because it was truly memorable ? What happen then ? Why were we smiling ? Were we smiling because we were asked to ? Many times we were forced to conform with the social norm.. After the lady gaga monster ball yesterday, I agree very much to what she was said (I will update soon! Concert was a blast !! ) if we were forced to conform to the norm , what is the norm ?  It has been upteen times since my character has been shot at . I will take your feedback but it doesn't mean I have to change .. Because as I question the norm I came to realize that I will not be happy if I have to force myself to be "normal". Why would I put a " " normal . Because what seem normal behaviour to people is not "normal" to me . So it was then decided that I have to take care of myself first before taking care of others. Yes it may seem selfish and I don't expect people to understand . You may find reasons or faults with me .. Perhaps it's true perhaps not. Either way I decide.  The point is: no matter what people say how sickening you are (unless you kill someone dig the eyes out and throw it out the window- yes it happened in Singapore !! ) you are who you are . If you know you can't be happy if you change, don't ! Because friends suppose to love you for who you are. I don't change just because of the feat I have .. I change for the better .  25 is a cross road in life .. Several obstacles several people will be there to question the foundation you have already built . Doesn't mean that the person doesn't appreciate what you built you have to take out all the bricks and rebuild. Have faith ! Soon someone will appreciate what you done architecturely  I am still looking for the one :) everyday I dream of you ... It feels comforting .. You may be fictional now but in time to come I will know .  (gosh I sound so dreamy !  But it's true !! )  Hees ok  I'm home time to sign off !  Leila   

Friday, May 4, 2012

Updates!! (judgement)

Hello all !

Just when I have decided to blog via my personal laptop , my lap top screen cracked -_-"' there goes my money ~ well I have to try to fix my laptop.. So I guess I have to hope and Pray that they would not wipe out my data ! All my tabulation of photos !

So to start, I have been busy working lately . The good news is I have passed my probation. Bad news ?? Hmm how should I put it ? Perhaps it's the culture of the company ?? Perhaps it's just my sensitivity ? I find that alot of judgement has been made in 3 months. Some you may find funny if you know it well enough .. Even I may find myself in disbelieve ..

Judgement as follows:

1)a lady that does not do anything including cooking and house work(simply saying pampered without knowing the sufferings of others)

2)childish girl

3)whiny girl (pretends to beat someone and whine )

4)rich stuck up girl

5)a pretender(someone with mask hypocrite I would say )

What else is there ? Honestly this is how much I can chew .. Some I find it laughable because those who know me may just read what ever judgement written above and laugh. Let's retort in numerical numbers shall we ?

1)evidence and pictures goes to show that I do cook. In fact it's all over the web , my facebook my blog ... So hey I guess no arguements there yes I do cook ! This is quiet laughable as I have said in my previous post my mum always wanted me to be a lady and now I get the criticism I feel that I have fullfill my duty To my mum . To say that I have not seen the world is not fair . I do go out to work part time whenever I have holidays. Regardless whether it's waitressing or washing plates , you name it yes I experience them.

2)I can be childish and mature ... Getting in touch with your inner child doesn't mean that you are oblivious.. So I guess never underestimate people with child like behavior.. Because you are just being envious of the pure happiness a child can experience. No pretending.

3) whiny girl ... Hmm guess what I hate girls who keep on whining ... PLEASE get a life ~ don't whine to get something ... Just go get it yourself.. So if I hate whiny girls why would I wanna be one myself ??I wouldn't wanna grow to hate myself everyday would I ? In addition I beat someone .. I beat for real .. But of course you can't bash someone hard for no reason isn't it ?

4) rich stuck up girl ~ wow ... I will take it as a compliment . But my family is a middle income family who choose to stay grounded. We are not spoiled in anyway . I am taught to work for my goal and I do work.

5)once someone told me that he would very like to peel every mask I have ... I am very offended by this sentence . What do you mean by peeling off ? Have I offended you in anyway . Yes I do have mask .. Everyone has it . So why does it take special interest to you to peel it all down? Mask are worn for sole reason . To cover weakness. Because of the way the world works .. It is hard to trust people to show who you really are ... For the moment , it is still hard to completely trust anyone to lay all my weakness down .. So pardon me for putting on my brave front.

With all these judgement , comes a common reasoning : base on my observation for the past three months ... Ahem !! Please just mere 3 month you can tell my 25+ years of life ? Why would I say 25+ years of life ? Characteristic does not relates to your life history. Or is it ?? Our personalities are form during every crooks and cranny that you have experience . Perhaps, a fall during a walk does not seem significant to you .. But every fall you made, you learn something, it impact on your life ... Your personalities has subtle change . Even you do not notice .

So why pass quick judgement ? Won't you take time to know me more before telling me my faults ? Every humans have faults so do I . If I am willing to accept and know more about you rather make quick judgement / statement shouldn't you do the same for me ?

I hope through this i will grow stronger and come to know that Its not what people say you are that defines you.. It's what your past, present and future that defines you ..

Okay time to To head off !

Sign off.!