Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Life and Death

I didn’t know how much can death affect my moo until now. Recently my colleague passed away suddenly. Sometimes when I think of it I still tear. Funny thing is I only knew him for 5 months yet it affected me in a way because to think of those he left and the pain it cost them reminds me of my own.
Friends may be surprise because I didn’t tell this to anyone. I kept it mum for 3 years. Now that im emotionally weaken I find myself struggling in a shark pit of the corporate world. Why would the world turn out this way. What are all the politics and fighting for ? are they the benefits of our own ? or the company? Why are we fighting each other just for money ? Is there no other way? Christians preach of the seven sins. If money gives the feeling of greed then we would have carried our sins around (taking it for granted)

Unexpectedly 26th years of life my life took a 360 degree change.  I find myself more vulnerable. What caused this change ? beats me perhaps while growing I discover my weakness or perhaps this time I didn’t wanna hide anymore. If you like me you like the whole of me. Not what you want me to be. ( applies to work, friends and family )
Sign off!
Leila

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

When collective becomes individualist 

Usually Asians are collective community , base on organizational behavior asians usually does things in groups. While westerns are more individualist . Somehow I beg to differ , people change , So does cultures and values. Funny thing is I don't know if this happens in your country but in Singapore during school one of the Amazing mystery of life is: girls must always go to the toilet in groups whether there are enough cubical or not some how they just love to go in groups . This actually happens in my secondary school when girls go to the toilet and came back when an obscenely drench hair I mention obscene mainly because it's not like wet hair attract guys or Singapore is that hot of a country . They just find it more presentable even though it makes their uniform wet as well -_-"' anyway back to topic. It was during my teenage years when I always think that the more the merrier , however turning 26 this coming birthday , I came to realise how I felt when my friends mention the same phrase. Then it struck me how much I have change. I have no idea when the idea of individualist struck me , or when I change that much. I guess that during the course of time and tears it dawn on me to be selfish I'm sure I posted in the previous post as well ! Haha! Call me in denial but I call selfish individualist. Whether you beg to differ or argue, one day you will find yourself taking back the words the more the merrier , because the more you have the MORE liability you have. Yes ! How could I call friends liability ??! Total betrayal! But to face the reality yes I have changed whether in your opinion for better for worst it's up to your judgement. Perhaps it was always in me, perhaps I am much happier that way. So many probabilities but ultimately it's up to the future to judge.   Recently I find myself intolerable of those who stick to me . For this instance my colleague who is older than me, not only he nags, he always sticks to me .. like in mbs he say he will follow me cause he's afraid of getting lost first time okay I get it , but second third ? Please I need some time alone please ! I am the woman here ! Not you! Why are you acting like one ? Pucker up ! And act like a man ! Yes I'm such a feminist, haha ! I guess I can't help me I want to be bad and tell him whatever i wrote above instead I told myself to bear with it ! It's his character, just don't find a guy like him! I need a man not a sissy! Man leads and make precise decision and takes risk ! I know all men who beg to differ will reprimand me . But hey this is my perception and you can't stop me ! I jolly well bet that you yourself set standards for our gender as well so don't judge! Because it's in human nature to judge people . Well to speak for the males sometimes I hate how our own gender behaves ! There now you know we are imperfect ! Haha why am I ranting ? Is there any thing that happen recently ? Nope!~ just a random thought that's all ! I am blessed with what I have right now and I will be blessed with more good things to come =)    Sign off  Leila