Thursday, April 11, 2013

thoughts

life is never smooth sailing if life is smooth there will be no ups and downs that will make every step of your journey memorable.

despite all that I found myself strangely sadden Today. all it takes was a flick of a switch to turn on the negativity.. I should be blessed with what I have but yet .. I can't feel satisfied. all I felt was dosage of disappointment. everything that bothers me that I put aside just pours in.

I'm so lucky to have my dearie.Although I ha've to cry alone in office. but I know all it takes was one call and my dearie will comfort me. perhaps too many people think I'm happy go lucky I use tp cry alone in disappointment. honestly yes I feel a pang of jealousy when people's sadness was put priority of yours . what ? just because I do not show socially or publicly means I do not need to be comfort ? or is it just because I am strong enough to handle myself I don't have to be bothered ?

Afterall Im a girl all should be treated equally isn't it ? whether bf or no bf husband or no husband .. i guess I have to submit to fate .. there's no way anyone will treat me for the girl I am except for my dearie because he knows I'm v vulnerable at times and I need to be treated like a little girl. all I need was a hug. when I was single all I need to do was to whatsapp I need a hug to my poly friends majority and find Yh to grumble lol

without them I guess I wouldn't have gone through the downs that smoothly :) thats what friends are for I wouldn't trade it for anything. and yes dearie even if my friends won't be here all the time , you will be my friend, my lover, my soulmate,my husband to be, My everything :)

thanks for being there for me.
sign off Leila

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Quick update

Hello ! :D

I guess this blog has been neglected too darn long.
and people would have probably ditch the hope of reading anything new lol ! 

BUT HEY I'm still here still with plenty of thoughts and common concern.

Ever since I got engage on my birthday. I guess my life made 360 deg change, Eg: How my bank is with amount that it never reach before.. USUALLY and I'll proudly say... my bank is ZERO ! lol !
now it is not! Now my indulgence is buying bridal magazine, watching say yes to the dress, wathing wedding cakes .. GOD ! I told my dearie, I'm turning BRIDEZILLA !! the wedding is about 11 months away and I'm panicking.

Panicking about photographer
Panicking about my shoes, Accessories
Panicking about my weight !
Panicking about Money and Budget..

BASICALLY Kiasu-ism took over !
I'm pretty lucky my dearie is more laid back in letting me decide.. sometimes he will step in to object.

Yesterday I broke down a little and teared because I was thinking how can all these be resolve.. Whether should I give up the date or certain things like maybe rental of car ... blah blah blah..

I believe everyone's resources are limited. So is ours but there goes the age old arguement that it only happens once in a life time.  SUCH a delimma.

For now I just have to think positive and let it sit in a way that everything will work out.

it's now only 1st quarter of the year and I hope Better change is coming.
A good change. 2014 onwards is most probably the year our life would change.. and I cant wait to share my pride and joy with you guys virtually.

Opps I havent nap..

Gotta Work !
Meeting with my girls later for dinner. Cant wait to gossip and chat with my girls.
They always made my day.. although since I am saving money I dont go out with them anymore.
Not going out does makes me feel neglected and how I miss the feeling. And I'm very lucky that my dearie is a very understanding man who knows I need my daily dose of gossiping and girl talk once in a while.

So lets just wait if I still be able to click with them. Cos sometimes I'm at lost :P
I'M BECOMING OLD... very soon I'll be joining the married woman club talking about houses, husbands and then children..

PLEASE DONT DITCH ME ....

I know im not psychologically balance :P

Sign Off !
Leila